Book No. 13 of 2021
A really fascinating book, and one that I think should be required reading for anyone who commentates on “traditional marriage” or “family values”—this thorough journey from hunter-gatherer group patterns all the way through the centuries to the early 00s demonstrates that marriage has always been a fluctuating institution whose purpose and values have been shaped by socio-economic needs. In fact, this book is almost a sort of entry-level economics and politics textbook, as the role of marriage has always been crucial to the commodification of power and resources. It’s also full of truly mind-boggling facts—about courtship, sex, ancient power plays, and the many historical myths we collectively believe.
It was very strange to read a book predicting future developments in same-sex marriage (this was written in 2005), and I was shocked when I realized how quickly we’ve made progress in the last few decades. It was also very satisfying to see so many pearl-clutching “marriage/the family is under attack” arguments debunked thoroughly with FACTS and funny to read that people have been wailing over the crumbling institution of marriage since the dawn of written history.
Similar Reads
Lots of overlap with Rebecca Traister’s All the Single Ladies (another outstanding read).
Specific chapters reminded me strongly of Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar and Virginia Woolf’s A Room of One’s Own.
Was also reminded of one of the chapters of Ijeoma Oluo’s Mediocre.
Also reminded of the chapter on marriage in Jia Tolentino’s Trick Mirror.
There were passages about the role of friendship that reminded me of some of the history covered in Ann Friedman and Aminatou Sow’s Big Friendship.