Book No. 73 of 2020
Loved, loved, loved this book, which for reasons that are too boring to explain I have owned for a while but not read til now.
Tolentino’s writing, as always, is sharp, deeply incisive, remarkably clear, and shockingly funny. Reading every single essay in this book, I felt the dual tug of “I think we’re kindred spirits and I want to be friends with you” and “You are scarily perceptive and would probably be bored and frustrated if you had to be friends with me.”
I felt so many feelings while reading this; some essays, addressing scam culture, the toxic power of the Internet, and rape culture were incredibly powerful while also being painful. Other essays, like the one on heroines (which name-checks a whole party of beloved authors and literary heroines, making me feel like I was surrounded by friends) or the one on Tolentino’s reservations about weddings and marriage, made me feel joyfully, gloriously seen. (Planning a wedding as a person who has always felt apathetic-to-antagonistic about the historical structure of marriage and the unhinged purity rituals of traditional weddings, I often feel alone and confused, so it is wonderful to see that I’m not actually alone.)
An overarching theme through the book is the evolution of feminism, and all the ways in which commodified mainstream “girl power” feminism falls short of actual feminist values and only serves to reify traditional power structures and late-stage capitalism. Tolentino’s clear-eyed perspective is a relief to read, even as she analyzes topics that are stressful because of their continued relevance.
Similar Reads
Similar socio-analytical reads: Rebecca Traister’s All the Single Ladies and Stephanie Coontz’s books, both of which are referenced in Trick Mirror.
For more clear-eyed, nuanced takes on equality: Minor Feelings by Cathy Park Hong, Lindy West’s The Witches Are Coming.
Highly recommend re-engaging with classic female-centered narratives, including Anne of Green Gables, Tree Grows in Brooklyn, the Elena Ferrante novels, etc.